I feel a dagger in my back...

My appointment is getting close and closer. My nerves are on the edge after 2 cycles of no ovulation, and knowing there is a good chance of my husband going back offshore any day. He might not even be home for our consult and deposit his part of the IUI process.

I got a text from a "friend" a few minutes ago where she said she was 3 months pregnant. I have secretly been telling myself that I will be pregnant before our only single friend left gets married and starts popping out babies. So needless to say I am a little jealous, mad, and very sad. The dagger that was placed in my back by myself today will stay there for a while.

I am only a few more days away from turning 35 ( the age whom a woman looses her eggs, vag go dry and it is all over) so I am not happy about my little sticky situation. I have blamed myself, God, my husband... So who is next? The one young childless friend I had left? I think so... At least for tonight.